Deacon Ray

This postpartum time has been really hard for me. I've had lots of anxiety and have pretty much just wanted to be left alone in my house with my baby. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with the fact that I've been afraid that people will expect me to go back to my RS President responsibilities before I'm ready. People have been really good about that, though, and really helpful. I'm still not feeling back to normal, but I'm not as freaked out about communicating with people via email, texts, etc. as I was. So, I'm going to try to write the birth story blog.

I was induced with both girls. Brooklyn was born 11 days past her due date and Adalyn was born on her actual due date (because my sis was in town to watch Brooklyn and I needed her help!). This time, I really wanted to see if my body would go into labor on its own. I was due on July 11th. By July 23rd, I had tried every labor induction wives tale on the internet! Well, almost. I didn't do the castor oil. But I did everything else! Including walking around the neighborhood with one foot on the curb and one in the street. I'm sure that was a fun sight for the neighbors. Anyway, still nothing.

So I went in to see my doctor the morning of July 23rd and he did an ultrasound to make sure the baby was still okay. He said the baby was getting big - about 9.5 lbs - but that didn't scare me. I didn't have any problems delivering the girls and they were both almost 9 lbs. Plus, those ultrasound weight estimates are notoriously inaccurate.  He did say that the fluid was borderline low and he wanted me to go to the hospital to have the baby monitored. So Jason and I headed to the hospital. When they got me all hooked up, they found that I was having contractions every 12 minutes. Something about being in the hospital, I guess, because I wasn't having them before. The baby's heart rate was decelerating after some of my contractions, which meant that the baby wasn't getting enough oxygen during those times. They decided they were going to keep me there. They wanted to "augment" my labor with Pitocin. (I really liked that word - "augment" - instead of "induce" because it meant that my body sort of knew how to go in to labor on its own after all. :) ) We had to wait until the baby's heart rate didn't have any post-contraction decelerations for at least 30 minutes before they could start the Pitocin. (If it didn't stop decelerating, they were talking about an emergency C-section - yikes!)

They had me turn on all the way on my left side to see if that would help the baby get more oxygen. The doctor had a C-section scheduled so he went and did that then checked on me when he got back. By then, the baby's heart rate was looking good so they finally started me on the Pitocin around 2:30pm. We had been there since around 9:30 that morning. After they started the Pitocin, things started picking up. They were checking on me every now and then and upping the dosage. About an hour into it, the nurse came in and said that she was going to up the Pitocin and I said, "But it hurts!!" They really were pretty bad by that point, but I hadn't dilated any further (I started the day at a 3) so instead of offering me an epidural she offered me some narcotics. I had never had them before and they were AMAZING and made me feel sooo good and completely relieved... for about 45 seconds. Just long enough for the nurse to leave the room. Seriously, I don't know what the point of that was. It did nothing!!

After that, I didn't want to ask for the epidural again because she had kind of made it seem like I should wait a while and I didn't want to seem like a big baby by asking too soon. The contractions got really painful. I think it was the most pain I have ever had. I got the epidural a lot earlier in the process with the girls. I'm not sure why you would ever purposefully wait if you were planning on getting the epidural eventually. It just seems like unnecessary pain. I finally got the epidural at about 5:30pm and it was AMAZING. I say that every time, but this was the best yet. I've always had really good ones where they eliminated most of the pain, but I could still move my legs and feel when to push. This one eliminated ALL of the pain and I could still move my legs and feel when to push. It was incredible. So after I got comfortable I dozed for a little while and then Jason and I watched a movie we had brought. Very soon after the movie was over, the nurse came in and said I was fully dilated. She hadn't called the doctor yet (I guess he lives really close to the hospital), but she wanted to get everything prepped and have me do some "practice pushes." Jason and I warned her that once I started pushing, the baby would be born. We wanted to wait for the doctor but she said she wanted to get started just so we'd be all ready for him. So I pushed twice and on the second push she said "Wait, wait, stop!" The baby was right there and the doctor hadn't arrived yet. She seemed a little sheepish cuz we had warned her and she was literally trying to push his head back in.

When the doctor finally got there and got all dressed and ready, the baby had been sitting all the way down in the birth canal for quite a while. It was then two more sets of pushes before the doctor told me to stop. He and the nurse got kind of nervous and Jason and I didn't know what was going on and then the baby was out. The nurse took him away kind of panicky and Jason and I both kind of looked at each other in shock. The first thing I thought was that he had a HUGE cone head. Like an alien head. It makes sense for how long he was squished down there. I seriously had to remind myself to just love him anyway. :) And the second thing I thought was that he was kind of scarily dark purple. Jason asked the doctor what had happened and he said that the baby's shoulder got stuck behind the pelvic bone - so his face was only like halfway out and then he couldn't come any further because his shoulder was stuck farther in. The doctor said that sometimes they have to break a bone to get them unstuck in that situation, but that he was able to do a little maneuver and get him out. (We found out 4 days later that his collarbone DID break at delivery.)

The nurse brought him to me a couple minutes later and laid him on my chest right under my chin and left him there for quite a while. I don't like when they do that because I can't see what the baby looks like and get to know him and nurse him and love him, etc. It's kind of just awkward with this little baby body under my chin and me not being able to move because the doctor is still working on me and everyone is looking at me like I should be ecstatic. Anyway, I was able to actually hold him soon enough. I was surprised how quickly his head went back to a semi-normal shape! Thank goodness! :) And he pinked up real quick. I loved holding him tight and looking at his little hands and lips and head and rubbing his back. He's a very cute boy and looks so much like Brooklyn as a baby. He was a big boy - 9lbs 2oz, 21.5 inches - and, besides the collarbone, perfectly healthy.

I was hoping we would know what his name was after meeting him, but we didn't. We really had no clue for the first two days or so. We had decided that if he was born on Pioneer Day, we would name him Brigham. But, he was born an hour and a half too soon at 10:24pm on 7/23/12. Deacon was the name we had discussed the most, but we weren't 100% sold on it. We finally just said Deacon because the Birth Certificate girl was annoyingly persistent. It was kind of the same way with Addy, though, and we eventually got used to it and now her name fits her and I can't imagine calling her anything else. I think it will become that way with Deacon too. Anyway, enough rambling! Here he is!

 Straining to see the little cone-head baby under my chin. :)

 Yes, he DOES have a dimple in his left cheek! So adorable.

 

First clothes. The nurse put an upside down t-shirt on his legs to keep him warm. You'd think they would just buy some pants???

 Deacon Ray Maner

9lbs 2oz, 21.5 inches

7/23/12

 Looking at Daddy

First video of the newborn

 Nana brought the sisters!

 And a balloon!

 Brooklyn holding him for the first time

Almost as big as cousin Molly already! (She's 2 months older.)

So about his name - We may or may not have heard it for the first time on Jason's favorite TV show, The King of Queens. That will not be confirmed or denied. We like the way it sounds (although I think I will like it on an older child better), and what it means. I have found several different definitions for the word Deacon (most of them having to do with the Catholic church), but my favorite is that it means "servant of God." That is exactly what we hope he will strive to be. His middle name, Ray, is special for a few reasons. Jason's dad's name is Jimmie Ray after his two grandpas, Jimmie and Ray. Jason's oldest brother is also Jimmie Ray, as well as Jimmie's oldest son (J.R.). Jason's other brother, Justin, also chose to use Ray as a middle name for his oldest son. So it was kind of the Maner boy thing to do, I guess. I love that it has so much heritage. I also love the name because my very best friend in college (actually probably in my life) was named Jana Ray. The entire Ray family is still very dear to me. They have helped me and loved me and supported me unconditionally since I met them when I was 12. Coincidentally, the delivery nurse that helped deliver Deacon was also named Rae. :)